| the title before the book what are you gonna call it? - a title ascribed before birth have you picked out a name? - round hole, square peg more borders that don't actually exist - You're the one I willingly sacrifice sleep for When I talk to You, I see myself, I hear God Leaving and arriving from our conversation(s) I turn down my cd of (y)our anthem hymns, I hesitate before putting on the radio more mind control, but no, do it skip, skip, skip, don't want programming I land on 102.1, the alternative station, and it begins "I don't care if it hurts I wanna have control I want a perfect body I want a perfect soul" Umm… Did we not just talk about my obsession with the physical? a 100 on the highway I daydream for a second one turn from another driver into my car and the physical is gone Scary shit I told you this, How God spoke, saying "I suggest you begin living out why you're here" The song on the radio continues "I want you to notice When I'm not around You're so fucking special I wish I was special" Hold up, Am I singing this? Am I singing this, to You? Or to me? The affirmation of others Not knowing what I want for myself What I hear next is: "But I'm a creep I'm an ego What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here" That's me! That's what I fucking sound like when I'm not authentic! I drive on down Bayview, feeling This. Realizing, that this is the presence I've been shooting for It sings on "She's running out the door She's running out She run run run run... Run…" OK, God. I hear You. So I am all I need Don't seek and expect from others Self-affirmation is my key But the thief has many locks on his door The honest man has but one. I'm getting it, starting to Then mind struggles over control Tiredly. Whilst spirit goes on "Whatever makes you happy Whatever you want You're so fucking special I wish I was special" Songs fades out. I gather, I am what I seek! 'But, naaah, lemme test this', thinks mind I barely stop in time, a few feet from the car in front Shaken I feel for answers The brand reads "ACURA" Your revelations are accurate The dealership license plate cover reads "AUTOBODY" Your programmed way of being automatically out of your body Hah! I command pleadingly, 'Give me one more, God!' I turn my head to the right, Street sign waves "CENTRE LANE ONLY" Hahahaha 'The middle way' Thanks God. I get it, 'just be' Driving from the gas station hallucinating Being Sharing Smiling Blurring One more turn Onto my street Waiting at the red Light goes green I turn Intowards a car heading straight We swerve Almost gone I flashback to my earlier daydream and re-realize What only You'd told me "You become what you fear Thanks D. |